Ssll '*Ii{*t just f*r f,fiIlege dffiFs* HousingUpdate The House Corporation is continuing to study the feasibility and need for a new on campus fraternity house. The Corporation held it's annual meeting during the Homecoming weekend to disbuss this and other inportant issues. At this time, we have yet to make a fuial decision in which direction we would like to proceed. On one hand, the chapter has made a good case for a new chapter house, many graduates have voiced support for a new house, and Rose-Hulman has responded favorably to some preliminary discussions. On the other hand, the current economy has made it difficult to comprehend the financial capability of the chapter and our graduates. Additionally, the initial costs to obtain drawings, and other services were a bit higher than we had anticipated. With all this in mind, we have taken a step back to re-examine the situation and consult with some more graduates, the chapter, and Rose-Hulman. The discussions will pick back up at our December meeting of the House Corporation. To all of you that have responded to us, I appreciate your input. The feedback has been very helpful, giving us a feel for the overall graduate attitude towards the project. I am happy to report that much of the feedback has been positive towards supporting a new house. For some, the thought of giving up the current house is a difficult subject. We appreciate both sides of the discussion and want to assure you that we are working hard at making the best decision for the chapter's long term success at Rose-Hulman and the overall feeling of the chapter's graduates. We will continue to update the graduates on progress towards or away from the new house project. Please keep looking for newsletters and other migrated tiom the campus. We now have a broadband connection to the Internet that every study room has access. In addition there are access ports in the garage, Grad room, dining roor& living room and Cold room. A wireless network has also been established to take advantage of the builtin wireless cards on next year's laptops. For those that have visited campus over the last few years, you know that the entire way of studying has changed. Today, students visit a class website to download homework and notes. If a sfudent gets "sfuck" in some cases'they can visit the professor's website and watch the professor do a similar problem correspondence from us. Feel free to continue to contact us with your feedback towards the project. streaming with video. Students turn in some assignments via the web. Students also Todd Hubbell Rho Phi House Corporation President todd. hubbe ll@us endress com . EB$A use Instant Messagi ng extensively to move . files around Tbchology During the 200l-2002 school year, several technological advances have been made to the both the chapter house and to Internet capabilities which have not only helped the chapter, but will benefit graduate programming. Last summer the library went through and discuss homework and projects. While these high-tech a complete overhaul. Extra study space was added as well as shelves. The entire house was networked and that network was solutions are great, there is still a lot of "lowtech" but important face-to-face teamwork that happens as well. The use of the email server located on the in-house seryer has made cofirmunication a lot easier. Not only can brothers communicate as a chapter instantly, announcements can be made to specific groups such as in-house brothers, specific committees or certain classes. An on-line calendar sends out reminder notices of chapter events at specific time intervals before the event. Even the Fiji Finder is on- Continued on next page Pg1 \r\ncontinued from previous page line if we need to look up a phone number of a 6rother. The purchase a document center copy machine has been great for all areas of chapter operationsl If we need a quick 25A rush flyers - no problerq they can be printed from any brother's laptop. This networked printer, copy machine and scaruler makes document handllng a lot easier. Documents can be scarured at70 pages a minute and dropped onto a laptop in various file formats including pdf and various image formats. Many committee documents and archives have been scanned and saved on our server. We are in the process now of scarming class files for use startifig in the fall. The chapter's new website documents many of these advances. Please visit www.rosefiji.com and check out some of the new services offered to graduate brothers in the area of communication and information retrieval. The 15 thtrl&lesua: RenewingtheBond The 154h Ek&lesia took place betweenAugust 76 andAugust 1ls in picturesque Portland, Oregon. Rho Phi was well represented, both in terms of involvement from those brothers who attended and in terms of honors received by the chapter. Undergraduates Ben Giant (ME '03), Scoff Green (ME '03), Steve Parker (CPE '04), Kurtis Preston (CHE '04), CJ Przybyl(OE '04), and Josh Zabek (CPE '05) were in attendauce, with Brothers Giant, Parker and Pr"rlsnfusing the voting delegates. During the Ek*lesia, each of these brothers participated in many educational sessions. Brother Giant was part of the The rep res ent at iv e s fr o m E KKLE SIA taking a breakfrom all the hard work Cofirmittee Reports Model Initiation team; Brother Green was part of an undergraduate panel designed to inform graduate brothers ofcurrent problems in the undergraduate arena; Brothers Parker and Przybyl offered their insight during a pledge education informational session; Brother Preston pitched in during a recruitrnent educational session; and Brother Zabek helped Social Committee - Michael Dockins The social committee is proud to report an clean the beaches of the Columbia River during Project Phi Gam. riskmanagement policies and a vast overhaul of the Rose-Hulman alcohol In addition to the undergraduate attendees, quite a few graduate brothers near and dear to the heart of Rho Phi contibuted to the Ekklesia. Section Chief Joe Weist was on hand to emcee some of the graduate sessions and to oversee the Credentials Committee. Purple Legiormaire Tim Harlan hosted the informational session on recruitnent. House Corporation member Don Mighell also took part in the celebration of Phi Gam spirit. Finally, Undergraduate Archon Councilor Mike Dockins, who graduated from Rose-Hulman in May, was honored for his service to the Fraternity over the past two years. Brother Dockins was replaced on the Archonate, but he is moving on to law school at the University of Toledo, where he will certainly lend a hand in the ongoing colorrization process. The attendees were happy to see that Rho Phi received quite a few accolades during the Ekklesia. First of all, many Rho Phis received scholarships and fellowships from the Educational Foundation: Drew Courtice (ME '04), Mike Dockins (CHE '02), Ben Giant (ME '03), Andrew Gtrllone (CE '04), Scoff Green (ME '03), and Kyle Jones (CPE '02). The chapter itself received Third Place in the Coon Plaque for Outstanding Graduate publications and an Honorable Mention for the Zerman Trophy which rewards strong extracurricular involvement. The chapter also received the John Templeton McCarty Chapter Proficiency Award, marking the sixteenth shaight year that the chapter has done so. This streak is second in length to only one other chapters that has won the award eighteen years in a row. Purple Legionnaire TimHarlanreceived honorable mention for the DurranceAward, which honors the Outstanding Purple Legionnaire. Finally, Joe Weist received the Hayres Award for Outstanding Section Chief. The chapter was especially pleased about these last two awards, as Brothers Harlan and Weist have made countless sacrifices to ensure the well being of Rho Phi. As always, Ekklesia was a great brotherhood event. The undergraduate attendees certainly renewed their bond and strengthened their ambition and hope for the upcoming year. We need your Email Address ! increase in both sociala ctivities and participation! The combination ofmore strict policiesand enforcement found the chapter trying to cope and change the culture we were all accustomed to.This past yeff saw an increase to five in-house chapter parties, up fromthe two or three we had averaged the past three years. In addition to parties at the house, brothers and their dates enjoyed a bonfire and hayride in Plainfield, the second armual "Black Diamond" informal at Stables Steakhouse, and the annual "Purple Garter" formal held in Evansville, IN at the Executive Inn and Casino Aztar.As alwoyS, FIJI Isle was a huge success attended by a wide array of students from Rose, ISU, and St. Mary's. The seniors did an incredible job setting up and planning for Isle in less than one week's time when we had returned from Spring Break. The increase ofparty t-shirts, theme parties, and events that included dates were extremely popular and will remain mainstay for future social planning. Email your address to Update@rosefiji .com a Continued on next page \r\ncontinued from previorus page *Steven Parker elected IFC Greek Games Co- Activities Committee - Eric Niec The activities corylmittee ,this year was. revamped and saw much success through Chair the hard work of thecommittee co-chairmen. Activities such as Paint ball and Euchre during pledge retreat as well as a Super Bowl party in which the brothers gathered at the house and were treated to subs, chips, soda, and other delicious /snacks proved very successful and built great brotherhood. Other events included the traditional Rho Phi Open with an addition this year brothers received "Rho Phi Open" golfballs and "FUi" tees. The goal throughout the year for the activities committee chairmen was to build a cornerstone for which the chapter would continue to build through a detailed descriptions of events and budget sunrmary in the coming years. IFC -Nicholas Brown The elections in January provided the Rho Phi Chapter with two new officers on the Executive Council for IFC. Steven Parker, current Pledge Educator for the Rho Phi Chapter, was elected as Greek Games CoChair. Steve organrzed the games and helped the chapter by have the rules tilted slightly in our favor. This help paved the way for a 2nd place effort during the games, which occurred on May 5th. The events included: Chariot Race, Hot-Dog Eating Contest, Swimming Relay, Pyramid, Tug-O-War, and the Obstacle Course. FIJIs won both the Tug-O-War and the Obstacle coruse, while winning points in every event. The second Rho Phi member elected to the Executive Council inthe January elections, allowed FIII to again preside over the council as IFC President. Nicholas Brown, former Chapter President and Treastrer, was elected as IFC President. At the time of the election Nicholas was the President of the Rho Phi Chapter. Rose-Hulman rules state that the IFC President cannot also serve as President of his fraternity's chapter. Nicholas therefore stepped down as Chapter President to take over the responsibilities of the mC President position. This included numerous hor.us of work in researching and proposing IFC constitution changes and assisting with the Greek Games preparation. Hopefully Nicholas and Steven will continue to provide there leadership abilities, through next year, towards the betterment of the Greek community here at Rose-Hulman. * Nicholas Brown elected IFC President j Eric Niec finished term as IFC Rush Chair * Rho Phi finished 2nd in Greek Games Athletics - Corey Trobaugh Frji played IM flag football in the fall. we lost our first tournament game. A group of seniors played in the softball tournament that was held in the winter. They won. We had 5 Frji teams in the IM basketball league. The FUi team that consisted of juniors finished second in there league. We just finished the IM softball season. We had two FU i teams that played softball this year. Both played well but were knocked out in the first game of the tourney. House Manager -Andrew Gullone The house has gone through many repairs this year. During the summer, Tim Harlan painted and re-wallpapered the formal room and the women's restroom. Steve Parker, CJ Przybyl and Kurtis Preston ran internet wire to more places throughout the house. There is now internet access in the Graduate Roonl the Dining RoorL and the Garage. A lot of work has also been done in the library. Another countertop has added as well as shelves above the new and old countertops for brothers'books and other supplies. We re-organaedour file system and brought new bookshelves too. A house computer and server were also added. This past spring, the fall pledge class house improvement proj ect was to straighten the fence and placed concrete around the post to keep it from moving in the future. There have been many improvements done to the house this year. The house has also been kept fairly clean throughout the year. House jobs are done twice a week and open house conditions have been on the weekends to keep the house looking clean. I have also made sure that other things such as: formal dinner set up, party set up and party clean, have been done as well. Pledge Education - Jeremy Kashman This year pledge education was an exciting journey that took us all through loops and twist. When it was all said and done 22 men were newly initiated Phi Gam's. These new members have already begun to show their leadership within chapter. They represent the chapter on campus in a variety of varsity sports, some have been elected to cabinet and others showing an interest in chapter committees and in the House Corporation. During their pledgeship the freshman traveled to William Woods near St. Louis for walkout, and to Lexington to visit our international headquarters. Since the fence surrounded the backyard was in dire need of repair they also took upon themselves to fix the loose boards and place concrete around the fence posts. This year's freshmen are a wonderful addition to the chapter and I expect to see big things out of them in the future. Public Relations Committee Jesse McQuiston The men ofthe Rho Phi chapter ofPhi Gamma Delta have once again devoted themselves to serving others during the 200I-20A2 academic year. Over a period ofnine months, the men of FIJI accumulated over 3800 hours of community service. This is an average of over 40 hours per brother. Below are exarples of how their dedication to service has impacted their school, cofilmunity, and nation. The Phi Gams have been very active on campus. Numerous brothers have donated blood during campus blood drives. Others have donated time into cleaning the campus through participation in events such as campus beautification. This year an emphasis has been placed on improving campus relations by inviting sororities and faculty members to the house for chapter meals. Also, the chapter has attended speeches on campus promoting awareness for alcohol abuse, date rape, and suicide. Brothers have also been very active in the local community. This year the chapter had several members participate in many events, includirrg Highway Cleanup, Habitat for Humanity, Adopt-A-Tree, Relay for Life Bikes for Tikes, and Nursing Home visits The chapter participated in, and dominated, the annual Delta Gamma Anchor Splash. They won the overall event for the second year in a row. Brother Matt Jackson was named Mr. Anchor Splash, and the chapter raised the most money of all those participating. The chapter also held its annual Happiness Bag Dirurer. This year 20 underprivileged children came to the house for a Christmas dinner and visit from Santa Claus. It was once again a tremendous success. Finally, the chapter had the opportunity to help those who were affected by the tragic events of September 1 lth. Several brothers helped organtzeda campus wide concert that raised over $3000 dollars for the September 1lft Disaster Fund. Pg 3 Continued on the next page \r\ncontinued from previolts page Events like these once again proved the high character and commitment to.. service shared by the men ofFIJI. Indeed, it was another great year for Rho Phi chapter. Administration Committee - Ben Giant Administration commiffee's main' duty was that of completing the awards report for the Portland Ekklesia. The Rho Phi chapter completely rethought l;ow the awards report would be completed this year. Primarily, we decided that we should apply for all awards including the Cheneylcondon Cup. Secondly, we filled out the most extensive, comprehensive report Rho Phi has conpleted. Corrplete with full colorpictues, exhibits, and bindings, the awards report was a masterpiece, if we do say so ourselves. The awards report took over 100 rnan hours to complete so our anficipation of the results at Ekklesia are well deserved. We will keep you well informed. New House Committee - Ben,Giant just short of With the increasing chapti:r interest for investigating the possibility of a new house, the NewHouse Committee was formed with the primary intention, among other things, to conclude of what a new house would consist-simply put, an undergraduate vision for a new house. The New House Committee completed that task and is now charged with periodic tasks to aide the Housing Corporation in determining the feasibility of such an endeavor. Judiciary Committee - Tim Swan The judiciary committee is a new committee created this year. It consists of seven individuals selected by the cabinet. It was created as way to handle issues that arise that don't necessarily fall under the cabinet's responsibility. Specifically, issues regarding the brothers who have violated chapter rules. The judiciary committee is given a full report of the incident, including all members involved and circumstances surrounding the issue. The committee then decides if punishment is called for. If a punishment is necessary then the committee decides on fair punishment which fits the infraction and in some way betters the chapter and/or the community. Fortunately, this year the judiciary committee only had to handle one minor infraction. Several pledges left early from a pledge activity. After some discussion it was decided that the pledges in question would organize a brotherhood activity during the NC AA championship basketball game. Also, the pledges had to wear some Duke apparel, ryruch to the dismay of several brothers who supported the team which had already been knocked out of the tournament. The pledges completed there punishment and the event went smoothly. GraduateNews for the first time John wilt Mike Callahan Class of 1974 I did send a recent update of my address but just in case we now live at 2616 Wildwood Drive Kingsport TN 37 66A.In the news from here for those not at Homecoming I am a Grandpa and Nick is now 15 months old and my best friend (especially when I have a bag of M&Ms). I got my MBA from East Tennessee State University in December 2001. Maybe I should have waited for college instead of going when I was so young as I made it into Beta Gamma Sigma and was 3rd in the class with a3 .97 5 ...I was also 3rd in my class fromRose. ..but not fromthe top. Marilyn is working part time selling furninue. Somehow most of what is shipped to her employer has shown up at our house. Rule is.....if I travel and get home after dark all lights must be left on so I do not trip on the new furniture. On her days off Grandma Marilyn spends hours at Toys-R-Us making Nick has every educational toy on the face of the planet. Our son Michael is attending Savannah College of Art and Design in Savannah GA and is a senior and we hope he will graduate with a film and video degree this coming summer (actually he has to graduate since we are going to be out of money by then). My daughter Megan and her son Nick live with us and she is back in school paying for it all herself. She actually had four freshman years on us and never got past lst semester. Now that she is paying for it she is getting "A"s and "B"s.......which is exactly what I told Marilyn would happen if we had cut her off 5 years ago. She is working on aPsychology major with Criminal Justice minor. 1 986 Patrick Paul Wildemann New daughter - Cassidy 4-6-02 Congrats to John Hostettler (Rose '83), for winning the race for U,S. Congress for Indiana 8 (aka Bloody 8,h) This district has be extended to the Terre Haute area, so a represent the area of his own chapter. Homecoming Wrap-up This year's Homecoming was not only a success but also a great time for graduates to reminisce on old stories and share new ones. With over 125 graduates returning for the festivities, there were plenty of stories to go around. Friday night graduates gathered at the house and talked with each other and the active brothers of Rho Phi, telling stories and passing advice on what they did when they lived in the house. Afterwards, the fun began as many went out to the many bars of Terre Haute and celebrated being together again. On Saturday, the football team brought Rose a victory in the afternoon game. There was an even greater turnout at the FIJI tent that was set up at the game. The tent was packed as graduates enjoyed the food and drinks while joking around like the old days. Later on that night back at the house, there was another gathering of gradu- ates meeting there before they went out to get dinner with each other. Finally, everything was wrapped up on Sunday morning with the House Corporation meeting, which discussed the topic of the new house for the Rho Phi chapter. Overall, Homecoming and the reunion of the 2's and 7's this year was a great time to learn about past times of our Rho Phi chapter, and an even greater time spending time again with the best friends we have ever made. Pg4 \r\n, ASto,ry ofMiddleAge I travel to Asia quite often, as that's where my company's customers are. Eight tripS last year. Trips usually last two to three,weeks and encompass some subset of the following places: Japan, China, Hong Kong, Korea, Taiwan and Singapore. I'll probably spend 16-18 weeks in Asia this year. So, given how much I'm there, weird s*** has the probability of happening. So, I'm in Toffori, the Kokgmo of Japan, a small city on the Sea of Japan. I'm probably the only white guy in this city. My customer is TottoriSanyo. I'm getting ready to visit my customer and from there I'll catch my train to points east. I'm in my hotel room standing there in my boxer shorts and I lean over to pick up a shirt, just one stinking shirt, to put into mybag and then middle age kicks me squarely in the ass. My back goes out. In fact, it goes so out that I drop like the 290 pound sack of s**'r that I was (tense is important here). I fall, face down on the bed and I cannot move. I am in'such pain that I can't ever remember being in befor6. What could childbirth be like? The pain emanates from my Another ten minutes. I begin to conclude I won't be arriving at my meeting in time. I pick up the fortunately nearby phone and call my wife who fortunately answers. She's a podiatrist and I figure feet are attached to backs eventually so she'll have an opinion. She tells me to call the ambulance now because, y€s, I'm fx**ed. The first call I make is to my customer, whom I like very much, a guy named Tanaka-san. I tell Tanaka who fortunately speaks English very well. I ask him to please call the hotel front desk and expfain the situation. By this time, I'm laughing my ass off. I then realize that a bunch of Japanese guys are about to see a fat white guy in his boxer shorts. My fear of harpooning returns. By the blessings of the gods, all my clothes are on the bed ready to be packed. I pull a T:shirt and pair of shorts over and somehow get them on, figuring that the temporal pain will be less than the permanent The ambulance guys arrive. They are horrified. Some American Sumo wrestler candidate has collapsed in an inaccessible hallway. They confer. One guy is sent to fetch the harpoon. More ambulance guys arrive. Which leads to the laterjoke of: "Kaminski-san, how many ambulance men were required to lift you?" "All of them." A body brace appears. One of those things you slide under the grievously injured. Unfortunately, I'm on the floor in a hallway and there's no way to position the thing to slide it under me. I enjoy the effort as they try to role me around. They -Thank you dear God for giving me the I yell out in English. They respond in Japanese. Neither of us speak the other's language. And they're here to help... They can't get in. They have overcome the key lock, but there's one of those safety lock steel looped bars mounted on the door frame that is hooked onto a ball mounted on the door. This safety lock keeps the bad guys out of your hotel room. Turns out it also keeps your rescuers out of your hotel room... I twist my self around in a loop on the bed in a generally tensile manner while groaning. Myhead now hangs off the foot of the bed. I look to the conclude by my screams that I'm in more pain than your average laughing beached white whale. More ambulance guys confer. They fetch another brace that breaks in half along the major axis so they can slip it on both sides of me. This works. I am braced. They strap me down. ALL of them lift me up. The problem is that when they all somehow lift me in this hallway, they have to try to take me outside the room. This means through the narrow doorway. This means that small Japanese ambulance attendants are being rubbed offon the door frame one by one as my body starts to go out the door, leaving just the one guy at the head end of the brace holding me up. More weight is loading on the head end guy as the others bunch up on the other side of the doorframe. I look up into the face of the head end guy and sweat beads are popping out all over his face. He is panting. I can see he wishes two things: one, that theywould have just gotten the harpoon and finished me off early, and two, that he hadn't spent the past forethought to have taken a dump in the past door. Several sets of Japanese fingers are reaching twenty eight years sitting around the station hour. around the door trying to undo the safety lock loop. They can't. Only I can. God has a sense of humor. I am not happy. I flop myself offthe bed onto the floor with my head pointed towards the door. I cry out in pain. Tears are pouring down my face. I move, like the 290 pound slug that I am, along the floor in a slug like fashion. I reach the door. I am able to reach the safety lock which, by the grace of God, happens to be located under house smoking cigarettes. The Japanese ambulance guys bunched up in a clot on the other side of the door begin to realize what is happening, yet my body still rnoves inexorably forward out the door. The poor head lower back. It hurts worse than when my fraternity brother Russ launched me through the air and I bashed my head on a cement curb when I made some crack about his girlfriend. And what a crack it must have been... I'm in a full sweat. I try to move. Not good. Thoughts go through my head: -When will I ever be able to walk again? -When will I ever be able to get laid again? -How the hell will I get home which is at least 26 continuous hours of travel from where I lay? (Three flights, one bus ride and one car ride.) -Thank you dear God for giving me the forethought to have taken a shower in the past hour. -lf I can't move and the Japanese see my beached whale a** in boxer shorts when they come to rescue ffie, I might be harpooned. -l wonder how many Japanese I would feed if I was slaughtered. -Thank you dear God for letting this happen in a civilized country like Japan. I was in the if wastelands of China the previous week where, this should have happened, I would have been absolutely doomed and ended up as part of some new Chinese local delicacy. It takes about twenty minutes for me to be able to move slightly. I cannot put any shearing or compression forces on my lower back. It's like somebody pulled the pin out between my spine and pelvis. I am able to go in the direction of my head ever so slightly. Like a Northbound Zax. embarrassment. Knocking. More knocking. The hotel staff has arrived. I thank the heavens that Japanese are short. The door opens. Two hotel guys see the beached white giant. I swear one asks the other to fetch the harpoon. I am immobile. I'm lying on my back in the little hallway in the bedroom and the Japanese guys bound in searching the room for the apparent perpetrator. I keep saying "lt was just a shirt." They look at me as if I were mad. My friend Tanaka arrives. He's frightened and hysterical. We start laughing. We don't stop (not over) the door knob. laughing for eight hours. Except when I'm crying. end guy is panting, hyperventilating. My body still moves. Fingertips alone support the foot end of the brace, but there are many fingertips coming out of a clot of Japanese ambulance guys stuck at the doorframe like the Three Stooges. Unfortunately, there's just one set of fingertips at the head end now supporting half my weight. The head end ambulance guy groans. He lets go. Freefall of the head end of the back brace and its occupant... Smack. I am in such pain I almost pass out. It's like in that movie "SomethingAbout Mary" when the stretcher collapses under that high school guy trying to score with Cameron Diaz. I start to Continued on the. next page Pg 5 \r\nlaugh. Tanaka starts io laqgh. .The ambulance guys are hysterical. . They get nre down the hall. Big surprise, the. elongated white guy doesn't fit in the elevator. They have to put me down and shorten the brace. I am transported down with my knees bent up. I'm happy I didn't break my leg. I am taken to the nearest hospital. They take Xrays. I almost pass out again when they try to move me onto my side to get anothdr view for the X-ray. I'm crying.rTanaka is frightened. Nothing broken. AII the nurses come over to see the large white man. The docs suggests an MRI.- Unfortunately, I do not fit inside the child size MRI that this hospital has into which all Japanese fit comfortably. There is only one MRI in the prefecture that could possibly contain me and it is at the Prefecture (-state) Hospital some distance away. The first doctor suggests an injection of steroids and a suppository. I don't like this plan of treatment. Tanaka looks up the word "suppository" in his hand held Engl i sh- Japanese transl ation dicti onary. The doc hands me the aluminum foil covered suppository and leaves the room. I look at Tanaka. Tanaka looks back. I hand the suppository to Tanaka. Tanaka and I spend the fest of the day handing the suppository back and forth to each other. We are not thrilled with the prospect of any more time in the local hospital. Tanaka suggests that maybe the big Prefecture hospital might be a beffer idea. I agree. We use the excuse of getting the big MRI as a reason to leave. I am carted, yet again, on a straining ambulance gurney, past the hordes of gawking Japanese to the Prefecture hospital. The head Orthopedic Surgeon is cool, speaks some English and does not offer a suppository. I fit in the MRI, barely. The doc tells me my two lowest disks have degenerated and that basically, I'm fx**ed. He says I need to lay flat for a couple days, load up on the pain meds, fly home and where my English speaking docs can figure out what to do with me. The pain is starting to lessen ever so slightly. The doc gives me drugs. I like this doc. Later, the doc brings a guy in that makes all the orthopedic braces. The doc suggests a back brace to help hold me together during my trip home. I agree. The guy whips out his measuring tape to measure my girth so as to size the brace. He has a one meter tape. One meter tapes generally wrap around your average Japanese person twice. It doesn't even come close to going one time around me. The doc and the guy look at each other. The guy fetches a second tape. Alas, a measurement. I call my brother. I love my wife, but there are some jobs that only a brother can do. Brother Ron hasn't been to Japan, so he's game. He will fly to Japan and rescue me. More of my buddies from Tottori-Sanyo show up over the next two days. They bring me Cokes, Donuts, a real spoon and a Japanese-English dictionary. We are hysterical. I am drugged. The Japanese hospital people don't know what to do with me. They put me in the Children's ward. Little Japanese sick kids and other siblings visiting other Japanese sick kids come and visit the large white beached whale. One hands me an Origami swan that is a Japanese symbol for, basically, "Get well soon." It's evening. I need to pee. Like Florence Nightingale, one of the nurses brings in one of those thingamabobs that a horizontal guy can pee into. It comes in a wooden box that stands up off the floor next to the bed. My eyes light up. She leaves. I pee. I place the full thingamabob back in the wooden box. This thingamabob gets emptied a few times by the second day. And then, the Nurse comes in says something in Japanese, tapping the box with the pee in it. I it back. I think maybe it's time for the sterilization of the pee container, but no, the pee thingamabob never comes back. lt's evening of the second day. I have to pee again. I really have to pee. I am simultaneously thanking God that I don't have to take a dump. It's amazing how the body can stop the need to dump when massive pain That whole thing happened about three and a half months ago. It took about a month for me to not walk like an old man. The pain dropped after I quit doing the stupid physical therapy I was told to do for the first month. Basically, my problem is disk degeneration that is below the threshold of needing surgery. I just have to lose a quarter ton and get my fat a** in shape so my muscles in my trunk won't let my back slide around on itself so much. So, I now will put on my socks and go jog around the block. In the past ten days, I have jogged: from my Hotel in Berjing to the gates of the Forbidden City where that giant painting of Mao hangs; around the Imperial Palace in Tokyo (3.4 miles, non-stop, o freaking miracle); around a 1300 year old Buddha in Nara, Japan, and around my street in Massachusetts. It's not pretty, and it certainly isn't "running" but it is slightly faster than walking. I sweat, so I must be doing something. Been at this for about two months every other day I'm not traveling. On the alternative days, I'm lifting weights. I still have a ton of weight to lose, because I refuse to diet TOO much, but the tonnage is coming off slowly. I figure it's an hour a day for the rest of my life or I'm would result. Not being able to eat helps to, I doomed. suppose. Reporting from the front lines of Middle Age, I I have no idea how to translate "pee remain, affectionately, Ski. thingamabob" into Japanese. I figure it's now or never. I get the sheet and turn it into a rope and throw it over the bed railing at the foot of the bed. I pull myself up. I thank God, once again, for modern pain That report was written several months ago. Since then, of course, I've bagged that working out s*** and am anxiously awaiting my next tap the box and SBy, "Yes, thank you, I have peed." She takes away the box. She never brings bout with fate. I am erect for the first time in 36 hours. Not that kind of erect. management medication. The body up and down erect. Surprisingly, being vertical isn't that painful. The transition to vertical made me break into a sweat, but once up, it's tolerable. I try to stand. Same thing. It sucks, but is not impossible. I stagger out of the room, walking like a ninety year old man. The nurses, horrified at the White Godzilla, all stare at me. One woman, who must be married, recognizes the universal male panic in my eyes and knows I must pee. She shows me to the nearest men's bathroom, which is conveniently located 169 meters from my room. I hobble. I must pee. I get there. I pee. I make it back to my bed and suffer through the transition from vertical to horizontal. I'm exhausted. I feel like after the second practice of football two-a-days. Do you know where these brothers are? lf so send the information you have to U pdate@rosefiji.com Thanks! Class of 1 g78 Kevin John Rollings Class of 1980 Donald Brady Daugherty Class of 1982 Edwin LeGrand Sowell Class of 1984 Conor John Mcleish Class of 1988 WilliamAndrew Lorimer I sleep. Thomas Robert Kowalski Eventually, my dear brother Ron shows up in Tottori not knowing what to expect. I'm actually able to move. We head to the hotel, Ronald gets McDonalds, we sleep, get up early the next morning and make the 26 hour trip home. As long as I'm vertical, it's manageable. I float home on medication. 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