'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 'Twas the night before Christmas in "old 99", All the brothers had gathered As But the guest we expected had not arrived yet. hours wore on some of us started sinking. We drank most of the night preparing to dine. The food looked so scrumptuous, the tables were s e t . the and poor Santa got wired. And if Mrs. Claus knew he'd be sure to get fired. As he took a long sip from the beer in his hand I opened the door and I glanced down the street But there still were no prints in the snow from his feet. The brothers grew edgy as time passed on by; He said "boys you should know that you've treated me grand." But the wind picked up speed and the sky started snowing So we mentioned to him that he should get on going. Their hunger enhanced by the smell of Mel's pie. But the "Big Guy" just smiled and sat back in his chair, The evening looked like it would be a good time. If only I didn't have to make this poem rhyme We had good entertainment the Great Ethel Merman 'Cause she had a crush on our own William Zerman. But the man they call Santa was s t i l l a no-show. Can you wait just a second, I've really got to go... And said "I hope your Pig Dinner is as good an affair." Now he asked for some paint to go touch up the rock When he glanced at the wall and he noticed the clock. It was well after midnight and he had many more places To go to, and bring gifts, and brighten some faces! So we carried him out and put him back in his sleigh. When he started to move AAAAHH!!! That's Now where better- was no one got in his way. I. . . We gave him our blessings I ran down from when I the bathroom heard all the noise. and bid him adieu. And up over the pond And I thought I would f ind a lot more than just toys. We were joyous, and thankful, He dropped off his load and happy he came And as he flew through the sky and he kind of looked sick"And I knew in an instant i t must be St. Nick!" We walked to the dining room and all took a seat. The Doxology was sung to a magnificent beat. The wait-ons then brought out the meal of the year; There were hot dogs and pizza and kegs full of beer. We ate ' t i l we bulged, rarely stopping to talk. When we tried to get up i t was real hard to walk. But we went to the basement and still kept on drinking. did we watch as he flew. he called reindeer by name; Now Walt Knapp, now Crofts, Now Gregg and McCarty On Elliot, on Fletcher, on Wilson and Gumpy. To the top of Gordon Library, to the top of Boynton Hall, Now dash away! Dot away! Dash away all! Through the sky did he fly over Washburn towards Becker, To bring his good tidings to the homes of the 'Wrecker'. And we heard him exclaim as he flew out of view "Have a good FIJI ISLAND and a Merry Christmas, too!!"